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I DEMAND PERFECTION!
Monday 10-13-2008 2:02pm ET
 I am as excited as I've ever been to be a Bengals' fan. You whiners out there, bemoaning an 0 and 6 season just don't realize how lucky we are to have the coach of our professional football team in Cincinnati smiling on the sideline with :34 left at the end of another loss. Marvin gets it. I get it. It's all about perfecting moribundity after flirting with it for nearly two decades.
Let's get this straight right out front. I am a Bengals fan through and through. I have been ever since moving to the area in 1993. I have worshipped at the who-dey trough on many a begotten Sunday afternoon. I am not a Jets fan. Not a Cowboy or a Packer(cheese, meat, fudge, or otherwise) I certainly would never root for the Steelers. If it's Browns, flush it down, I say. I moved here from Nashville, Tennessee. When I lived there, there were no Titans in town. The Bengals played the 'real' Titans uniforms yesterday. And lost. Thank the Almighty. There is still a chance.
See, ever since I witnessed this sad excuse for a waste of taxpayers' money based down by the river dressed up like a professional football team at the beginning of the year, I knew we had something special. I knew there was an opportunity this season for our beloved Bengal tigers to do something no team has done in the history of the 16 game era. The Dolphins really tried last year, but screwed up. The Bengals have the chance to put in a donut in the win column. We are talking about a record that would truly set Mike Brown and Marvin Lewis and the rest apart. A "now they belong to the ages" kind of season that will be referenced on Sportcenters and NFL Live programs for years to come.
I don't want the Bengals to win even one this year. It's fun to see how they are going to lose each week. They so far have picked a new and exciting way to do it in each game played. I'm serious! Why would you waste all that energy being ticked off at another pathetic Bengal loss. Hell, enjoy the ride. The sad truth is, I know the Bengals will disappoint me and back into a win somewhere down the line. Until then, I am cheering for perfection.I DON'T WANT TO BAIL ANYBODY ELSE OUT
Thursday 10-09-2008 3:12pm ET
When AIG got the 85 billion dollar bailout package from you and me, they took their employees on a half million dollar spa day. You know how long it's been since somebody paid for me to have a spa day? Like never.
You know how long it's been since the government sent me a check to cover my rent if I couldn't make the payment. Ya got it. Never. How long has it been since I asked taxpayers for anything? So long that it goes back to the womb. Am I rich financially? Nada. I am a paycheck to paycheck guy. Do I borrow money from anyone that I can't pay back? My credit's good with my friends. Do I expect the government to provide me anything outside of national defense? NO!
Ye entitled who feel they are even entitled to more- get your hands off my wallet. Whether you are a welfare mother or an investment banker. Whether you are a deadbeat alcoholic or a former Fortune 500 CEO. Stop it! Grow up! Whether you are a presidential candidate or a lousy incumbent congressman, it's my money(what little there is) quit giving it away to people who didn't earn it and don't deserve it. I would move to France, but it sure seems to me like France will be here soon enough.
ARTIST OF THE WEEK- JOHN LENNON
Tuesday 10-07-2008 12:14pm ET
 There are people we remember/ some are gone, and some remain....
Any way you slice it, he remains entrenched in our collective psyches' nearly 28 years after his tragic death. As a musician, a writer, an artist and a would be social engineer for change. The good and the bad that was and is the legacy of Lennon far outweighs the indifferent.
I know very few people who have no opinion about who John Lennon was and what he might have become. That may just be the result of the social circles I travel in, but I believe it's fairly universal.
So, how do I view this larger than life icon as what would have been 68th birthday hits this week? Here goes.
John Lennon was an everyman of the highest order. He came from nothing in a working class English port town. Raised by relatives after being deserted by his father, left with a mother who was mentally ill, John found solace in art and on the tough streets of Liverpool.
He was also a pompous, spoiled aristocrat. Elevated on fame's pillars to a point where I believe he was actually afraid to look down. His opinion became important only because the media treated it as important. This was maybe where John was at his best. He made a game of being flippant and saying outrageous things to the press. He loved it- even when it got him in big trouble.
Lennon was a tortured addict. A philandering husband to both of his wives. An absentee father to one son. An adoring, doting dad to the other.
In the final analysis, he was a world class singer-songwriter, artist who eventually grew up and became a decent human being. Can most of us ask that anything else be said of us when we are gone? THE JUICE FINALLY GETS SQUEEZED
Saturday 10-04-2008 7:22am ET
As Nicole Brown Simpson's lifeless, nearly decapitated body oozed blood onto a sidewalk in Brentwood, California, her friend Ronald Goldman, was also just as dead next to O.J.'S estranged spouse. When police came to investigate at Simpson's home, the Juice was nowhere to be found. The overnight 'business trip' to Chicago had him conveniently out of town.
After the slow, white Bronco chase and O.J.'s eventual apprehension; after a seemingly unending daytime soap of a trial that should have won a few Emmy's; after a cliffhanger of a verdict that left many viewers feeling unsatisfied, Simpson was free to menace and play golf again.
Flash ahead 13 years. Simpson and some hand-picked, genius henchmen break into a Las Vegas hotel room with guns to threaten and rob a couple of sports memorabilia vendors. Simpson, when first interviewed on television about the incident, is his usual smug, arrogant self. He says, "I thought what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" and laughs it off.
The Juice wasn't laughing when the verdict was handed down in Clark County District Court on Friday. Sentencing is set for December 5th. O.J. could get life. He has had more life on the outside that he deserved already. Nicole and Ron did not get that luxury.
I WANT TO DEBATE SOMETHIN' FUN
Thursday 10-02-2008 12:16pm ET
Election '08, and the debates are on!
Obama/McCain, Biden/Palin. Does anyone with a brain doubt the kind of b.s. we are going to continue to hear as this presidential/vice presidential campaign season drags out for another four or so weeks?
Obama will promise he is going to solve all of our problems from healthcare to education to the economy to national security with change. McCain will insist he has always been about change and will cut spending in Washington and not raise our taxes. Biden will claim he has the experience to handle national security issues (we know Obama does not) and Palin will claim she can see Russia from Alaska while killing and field dressing moose. Largely we know all of them are at least partially, if not fully, full of it.
So let's debate some real issues. Were Mick Jagger and Keith Richards actually standing on Brian Jones head when he drowned in his own pool just weeks after quitting the Stones? Or was it simply an accident. If Mama Cass had given Karen Carpenter that ham sandwich, would they both be alive today? Did Elvis fake his own death? Who was hotter back in the day? Marsha Brady or Lori Partridge? How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop? And should we trust an owl who is wise but also a paid endorser to tell us? These are things I want to know. Until I get the answers from one of the candidates, I'm voting for Pat Paulsen. Look I know he is dead, but the democrats have had dead voters voting for years.
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